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Love Means Admiring the Whole Person
05-19-2018, 12:54 AM
Post: #1
Big Grin Love Means Admiring the Whole Person
Liz was furious. She found herself throwing things in-to her pocketbook and slamming drawers. 'What is his problem'? she fumed. 'The book is late again, and all h-e says is, 'Don't fear, it'll be fine.' I am unable to go anymore! Perhaps the baby runs a high temperature or the electric company wants to turn-off the energy since the statement was misplaced and never paid, all they can say is, 'Do not worry. It'll be fine. Calm down.' When I got married, I thought I would have anyone to share my problems with, maybe not ignore them. Does not h-e CARE?'!

Craig was getting frustrated. 'Why does every little thing I say set Michelle off crying'? H-e wondered. 'I was just making a joke. Even my sisters never got insulted just how she does. Why does she need to be therefore sensitive and painful? Almost every discussion we have about anything serious eventually ends up with her crying, and I am getting sick and tired of always feeling just like the bad guy. This is not what I created when we got married. Discover further on our related portfolio by visiting Escaping Your Company Softly. I have had enough of this'!

Both Liz and Barry seem to have legitimate complaints. Liz's man, Mike, just shrugs everything off, and Barry's wife Michelle overreacts to every little comment he makes. Equally Liz and Barry begin to feel disappointed in their marriages, when it goes on and on, every single day. And although they've not said so - even to themselves - deep down, they're both wondering if they actually married the right person.

But before letting things go further, both Liz and Barry will be well-advised to turn the clock right back to the time when they were still simple and searching. Let us do it for them, and see what we find:

Liz was always a significantly nervous type. Through-out school, she'd suffer from head-aches whenever she'd a test. She began to contact the admissions office twice-a day since she was so anxious that something had happened, when her friends began to receive responses from schools before she did. To compare additional info, people can check out: privacy. Liz knew that she was much too nervous about every thing, but could not seem to get a handle on this facet of her personality.

She was struck by how quickly calm she felt in his presence, when Liz met Mike. His calm, easy-going, stress-free personality set her relaxed, and she found herself enjoying his company more and more. If they got involved, she knew that with Mike at her side she would often feel secure that things would workout.

Even though Barry loved his parents really, he realized that he wanted his house to become notably different compared to the one in which he was raised. For some reason, it always seemed that his mother wasn't really in-tune with his father. As Barry matured, he noticed that while his mother was gifted in several parts, she lacked sensitivity. He knew that quality was high up in his set of priorities, as Barry started to think about marriage. The primary quality that he discovered was her incredible sensitivity, when he met Michelle. She appeared to know just what to say to every one at just the proper time. The more Barry got to know Michelle, the more he admired that quality-of hers. And once they got involved, he realized that in Michelle he'd found a person who would really be his partner, with whom he could always share his feelings with and know that she'd understand.

So what went wrong?

Nothing.

Yes, nothing. Both Barry and Liz got just what they needed. But there is one little rule that no one told them about. It's a concept that may change their lives, and perhaps yours, too:

When you take a look at someone you have to understand that both what you enjoy and what you do not enjoy are two sides of the same coin.

That bears repeating:

What you enjoy and what you don't enjoy are two sides of the sam-e coin.

It is a cliche but it's true: No body is ideal. Everyone has faults, and more frequently than not, their faults are nothing more than the flip side in their good characteristics. That means that some individuals who tend to be comfortable, peaceful and stress-free mightn't be very concerned about problems that are certainly serious and demand attention. And that people who are incredibly sensitive to others might must be treated accordingly, and be quite sensitive themselves.

In every relationship - but particularly in marriage - it's vital to understand how to appreciate the whole individual, and to accept the fact that those features that you enjoy most in your spouse could have other features to them that may not be to your taste, and may require some changes. The most effective adjustment you can make is to refocus your viewing lens.

For Liz, meaning focusing on Mike's amazing ability to calm her down and keep her balanced, rather than on those situations in which his easygoing nature seems to be a disadvantage. For Barry, it indicates focusing on Michelle's extraordinary sensitivity to his feelings while acknowledging the truth that her very own feelings could be fragile and to weigh his words vigilantly. Mike and Michelle are not off the hook either. Mike could remind himself of that due to her if her feelings are hurt by him it is more than likely unintentional, and that they've electricity; Michelle must tell himself that Barry is employed to joking, if Liz gets disappointed. If each spouse shows the other just how much they appreciate him or her in general person, they will have imbued their unions with a staying power that's second to none..
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